Heal Me
by EdyFerrone
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian belong to two different worlds. Kurt is the son of a famous mob boss, while Sebastian is just a victim of the system. Since Sebastian's accident one year ago, he wasn't able to find someone who made him feel comfortable with his body again. He doesn't expect to find it this way. He doesn't expect to find it at all.
1. Piercing Green

Hello everybody!  
I've worked on this other story for long and now that I'm halfway through it, I decided to post it.  
Please, pay attention to the warnings and know that Kurt might be very, very awful at first. He might treat Sebastian like Sebastian doesn't even matter. I've written this to fill a prompt by a friend of mine, so I'm just following what she told me to write. If you don't feel comfortable with the warnings, please don't read, especially when it comes to dub-con - considering that sometimes the line between dub-con and non-con can be very personal to the reader.  
Also there are mentions or a rape scene at the beginning of the story but you can basically skip the first scene to avoid it.

xoxo

_Warnings: _D/s, AU - mob, Minor Character Death, dub-con, from sex to love, past rape.

* * *

_The unbearable stink in that bathroom still seems so real, it makes him press against the wall with disdain and disgust, like he wouldn't do on any other night. Sebastian Smythe and the word sex were practically glued together, they're almost synonymous. He would usually enjoy being presses against a wall or press another thin body with the heat of his firing excitement._

_Tonight it's different._

_Damned Sebastian and his stupid inability not to go out for the night._

_There are strong fingers wrapped around his neck, tears filling his eyes because __**he couldn't **__know. He had thought he was just going to hook-up with some guy – older than him, like he's used to, but it didn't seem like a problem to him anyway – and instead he's there, trapped against the wall, crying and trying to breathe as much as he can._

_One of them is blocking the door; another man keeps his neck in his tight hold while the third one unbuttons his pants._

_Shit, he has been so stupid to let them turn him on first and now he's paying for his shameless trust towards unknown people carrying him to a bathroom to fuck. The man who's holding his neck doesn't every worry about tapping his mouth. The music outside is too loud. Sebastian could scream, but no one would hear._

_A hot tear streams along his cheek when a strong hand wraps around him and he finds himself crying quickly while the low basses of music make him sick and feel like he needs to puke right now. The hands sliding over his body are unwanted and everything he wish for is to just __**run away**__, disappear and just be gone. He would have done so if the hold on him wasn't so firm to block him, so strong that it hurts him, scratches him, and marks his skin._

_He'd gone out to just hook-up and he has no idea what this is, if it's karma, a stupid divine punishment, but the world suddenly seems to mock him._

_A strong hand squeezes down there, between his thighs, fingers pressing before he's being unbuttoned and Sebastian just wants to be swallowed from the wall behind him, wants to go away._

_This night is going to change is life forever._

_/_

He has no idea where he is.

The only thing Sebastian can feel is a strong sense of bewilderment. All the rest is just reduced to confused feelings he can't name, not when he has no idea what happened, shadowed memories of the last events crushing in his head in a messy chaos. He doesn't manage to put the pieces together even if he's trying to do so.

Not to mention that he can't see.

He tries to open his eyes, but there's an obstacle that makes it impossible for him to spread his eyelids completely. He thinks it's a bandage or something. He tries to move his hands then, when he manages to get back to reality enough to have his brain and his body cooperating. He doesn't manage to move his wrists either though, they're tied and pressed together and Sebastian feels his stomach clench and a grimace blossom on his face.

_Perfect,_ he thinks, _I'm fucking blindfolded and tied to a chair_.

He can barely remember what happened, but it's slowly building up in his head at least.

He remembers he was at home, listening to some music in his room. He heard some screams from downstairs and he ran there. His dad was talking to some men that weren't as kind as him and the sight made every muscle in Sebastian's body clench while he was stiffening and standing to eavesdrop, carefully hidden behind the wall beside the door. He swallowed because living in the worst neighborhoods in the city meant that he knew sooner or later the Malavita day would come.

That's what they call it. It's the day when they come for you for different reasons.

Right now, he can perfectly remember he was hit by someone when they noticed he was there, but it didn't seem like his dad was fighting to defend him and Sebastian had no idea why. No matter how much of an asshole he had been in the past, he wouldn't allow to someone to take his son away.

He startles, interrupting his thoughts when he hears the door of the mysterious room he's in getting opened.

Only when he breathes in with panic, Sebastian can feel the unpleasant stink of the room. It's not a real stench but the air is heavy, like the room hadn't been open in a while, like no one ever thought about opening the window to make it better.

When a clear melodious voice speaks, Sebastian freezes, startling and instinctively pressing against the back of the chair on which he's sitting.

"What's this?" The young voice asks smugly.

Even though Sebastian is tied and bandaged, he can practically_ feel_ eyes tracing his body, suddenly not too covered, as he's realizing while he becomes more conscious.

"It's your birthday present." An adult voice answers proudly. "His dad was screwed from bets and slot machines. I thought about this gift, since the new Porsche didn't make you as happy as I hoped it would."

Sebastian shivers.

What does this even mean?

He starts hoping desperately that they aren't talking about him, but something that he can't see inside this room. But he feels eyes focused on him and he's so scared.

"He looks cute." The melodious voice says again and Sebastian startles when he hears the steps, closer and closer. "Nice body … he's _interesting_."

"I thought you were tired of your old toys." The adult man said. "You know, Kurt, Sam was wrecked last night. I can't even imagine how angry he must have made you for you to do that to him."

"That's how it works." The boy answers, too proudly according to Sebastian. "No one disappoints a Hummel, dad. You taught me that."

"I hope he won't disappoint you then." Sebastian feels his body stiffen while he newly becomes the topic of their conversation. "I shall leave you alone." The man says. "I just hope that whatever you're going to do won't last too long. I won't tolerate it if you're late at dinner."

"I thought you were my dad, not my grandfather."

A laugh.

A few steps.

A door closing.

Sebastian's heartbeat starts pumping incredibly fast when a high-pitched voice breaks the momentary silence of the room, making him shiver along his spine.

"Well, well, well." The boy whispers, moving closer, step by step. "Nice chest, I have to admit it. I really want to lick your skin right now."

Sebastian swallows; this can't be happening again.

He's spent the last years of his life trying to erase that stupid accident in the bathroom of that gay bar, the disgusting way those bodies had pressed him and blocked him into the wall, against his will, while who knows what kind of alcoholic drink was making him too weak to fight. The accident shocked him when he was eighteen, making him indifferent to sexual attraction. He still feels sick when he thinks he's become impotent after he'd been raped by three men in a dirty stall.

And now there's this boy, this boy whom he can't see but who doesn't look like he's going to stop.

"You won't answer?" He asks and Sebastian startles when he feels fingers wrapping around his head and probably reaching the knot of his bandage. "What's your name, pretty?"

Sebastian takes a deep breath.

He's too scared **not** to obey.

His arms are shaking and he already feels like he's about to cry.

"S-Se-"

_Shit_, he thinks, wincing and feeling his throat getting tight, _I can't even speak anymore, fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Sex?" The boy asks, undoing the knot. "Oh I know, baby. Just tell me your name first."

Sebastian sobs a little before he can help it.

_Sex_.

The last thing he wants to hear by now is sex. It's the last thing he wants to do. He isn't capable of doing that anymore. He's now unable to feel any kind of sexual arousal. He didn't get hard, not even once, in the last 365 days. For more than one year, Sebastian has lived without sex, without jerking off, _anything_. The best porn websites didn't help it.

How embarrassing would that be?

"S-Sebastian." He stutters again. He _never_ stutters.

"Sebastian." The boy stops undoing his bandage for a moment. "You're going to love it when I'll be moaning your name."

_No,_ Sebastian can't help but think, feeling tears gathering in eyes in a moment, _don't do that to me, __**please**__, everything but this._

He feels a body pressing against his own, sitting on his crotch, legs hanging at the sides of Sebastian's.

"I like you." An immediate whisper runs along the skin of his neck, one single drop of sweat streaming along Sebastian's jaw and then down along the column. "I like you a lot."

_Please, please, please,_ Sebastian's mind keeps on begging with no pause.

The chant doesn't stop, not even when he feels the wet tip of a tongue slide to wipe the drop of sweat and then tickle inches of his skin, just quickly as if the touch actually burned.

The boy sitting on him smells good at least, fresh and clean.

He needs it so that he won't think about the disgusting stench of that freaking bathroom.

"Talk to me," The boy murmurs on the sweated skin of Sebastian's neck and Sebastian starts shaking under his touch when his hands wander on his bare chest, stroking it dirtily, as if the mere contact might mark his skin. "It's an order, you know."

It sounds threatening but Sebastian has no idea how this boy doesn't catch the way he's trembling.

Maybe it's not as evident as it seems to him.

Or maybe the guy just doesn't care.

He feels the boy's hips working against his own, on him, while his mouth traces a long line of nasty wet kisses that are making Sebastian stiffen on the chair. It's surely panic, right? It's not like he thinks these kisses are _hot_. Everything had stopped being hot when he was eighteen.

He stays still while the boy starts rocking against him, grinding on his body and Sebastian still can't bring himself to participate in whatever this is.

The mouth that is kissing him runs along his jaw, suckling on little portions of skin nonchalantly. It's probably because he can't see nor move his hands, but Sebastian can feel every single movement of those lips. It's a soft and wet pressure, sexy but light, not violently, which was what Sebastian was expecting after he had been communicated to have become a mob boy's sex toy – the clues about his dad being a gambler suddenly connecting to this situation.

"I can't wait to fuck you," The boy whispers with his mouth close to Sebastian's ear.

_Kurt_, Sebastian repeats in his head, _his dad said Kurt_.

"I can't wait to feel how hard you are for me," Kurt's low voice makes him shiver while anxiety and fear quickly fill his chest, and the boy's mouth wraps around his earlobe, sucking it roughly.

_Please, stop_, he begs mentally, without feeling any excitement at the touch. He doesn't even know how it feels like anymore: the shiver from desire, the want for sex, and the apotheosis of the orgasm. Nothing of that is real to him anymore.

"This is weird," Kurt's voice gets a little more high-pitched and confused, spontaneous and natural as he pulls his mouth off of Sebastian's skin, "You're … you're not turned on."

Sebastian can feel the insecurity in his voice and even though he knows that the person sitting on him is clearly dangerous, all he can think of is how much he would want to tell him, _It's not your fault, it's me; I must be impotent or something._

He feels his throat getting dry but he wants to try and say something to him nevertheless.

But still, the words die in there when Kurt's fingers are newly moving along the bandage that covers his eyes, to finally pull it away completely.

Even though the material is off, Sebastian presses his eyes shut together. He is so afraid to open them and look at the boy who has been kissing him like that, without even worrying about knowing their full names (which is exactly what Sebastian was used to do before the accident to be honest).

"Would you open your eyes for me, pretty?" Kurt whispers, his voice not really honest, more teasing than anything.

Sebastian doesn't have any choice, does he?

And yet, when he manages to lift his eyelids and open his eyes slowly, he finds himself holding his breath avidly in his lungs.

The boy sitting on his lap is _stunning_.

Before he can have any control over it, Sebastian's eyes are wandering eagerly over him. He has got beautiful blue eyes staring into his own so insistently that Sebastian can't believe the shiver along his spine at the way he feels so submitted from one glare only. He looks down, following the tasteful-looking column of his neck, moving upwards once more to notice his probably soft lips and the tip of his nose.

His stomach flips on itself.

The boy's cheekbones are defined and when Sebastian looks down once more, noticing the huge golden chain around his neck – which blinds him almost for the time he has spent with his eyes covered – and then moving lower, catching the shocking tight dark red shirt he wears. It's unbuttoned at the top, so Sebastian can see his shaved and attractive chest through it.

And then Sebastian feels it.

A warm heat washes over his belly, making him stiffen against the chair and it finally happens. He's hard and tense, twitching in the thin briefs he's wearing. The feeling of being turned on feels like an actual orgasm for a moment. He didn't even remember what need and want felt like.

"Oh my god, it looks like you've already come and I've barely touched you and not even where I intent to." Kurt sniggers lightly, his laugh sounding clean and a little rough at the same time. It's even more amazing now that Sebastian can see his face.

He opens his mouth to speak once more, but all that comes out is: "Where am I?"

"In your new room." Kurt answers without noticing that the other boy is shaking underneath him with the fear of being excited once more. He's feeling the same need that had condemned to his harassment in the first place. He thought it was never going to happen. He's scared. "You're mine." Kurt says nonchalantly. "All of this," his finger slides along Sebastian's bare chest, tracing his muscles, "it belongs to me."

_I wanna leave_, Sebastian thinks, feeling as if he's about to cry, _I want to go away._

"I'll untie you now." Kurt moves his hands around Sebastian's abdomen until he reaches the material keeping his hands together against the chair with his fingers. "You better not fight it."

The cold tone in his voice makes Sebastian feel as if _he is_ about to cry while the knot is being undone.

Kurt's hands move up until he leans them on the back of the chair, and while smirking, he presses his hips against Sebastian's crotch, making his own half-erection slide against Sebastian's.

"Let's get this to the bed." He murmurs, biting his lower lip just an inch away from Sebastian's face. "Or I could fuck you on this chair."

Sebastian is _begging_ through his eyes.

He hopes with all himself that this unknown beautiful guy sees through his eyes just how much he is afraid of physical contact. He thinks it can't be so obvious when he's hard in his briefs. How come his body has suddenly decided to react in this very moment after one year of nothing?

His wrists are finally free anyway and he feels like rolling them to stretch them. They don't really hurt, but they tickle annoyingly instead.

Kurt stands up from his body and tugs his arm a little rudely.

As much as Sebastian is afraid, he knows he can't do anything but follow.

His legs are shaking while he moves them to sit on the bed and can't help but feel as if he's just a toy.

Kurt helps him sitting on the mattress and then puts his hands on Sebastian's shoulders to keep him there.

Once he's sure Sebastian won't move, his hands wander downwards, his fingers catching a nipple and playing with it, making Sebastian squirm until he can finally feel his briefs wrapped too tightly around his waist. It had been so long since his body had sensed such a hot wave of desire. He thought it was impossible for it to happen again.

Sebastian swallows, unable to pronounce any word, not even when Kurt's fingers scoot down and trace his hipbones before he's tugging the waistband of his gray briefs. When Kurt pushes them down and Sebastian's dick is exposed to the air of the room, he can't keep the moan that comes out of his mouth. The room had seemed so cold until moments ago, he has no idea how it can feel just cool now.

Kurt makes the briefs run down to his ankles until they're on the floor and Sebastian closes his eyes and tries not to cry, his whole body shaking between pleasure and the fear he can't get rid of.

He just wants to wake up and find out this was just a nightmare.

Kurt sits on him again, the material of his tight pants tickling Sebastian's naked and sensible skin unpleasantly, but creating a lovely friction at the same time.

Even though his hands are free, Sebastian doesn't dare to move them towards the other boy. He doesn't think about _touching_ him, not even for a moment, even if he's starting to want it so badly.

Sebastian could swear he's never felt so tortured at his incapacity of realizing what he actually wants in his life.

Kurt's mouth catches his own and this time Sebastian closes his eyes, moaning between his lips and opening his own to give him space.

The taste of Kurt's mouth is fresh and amazing, clean and pure, nothing like the alcohol he remembers from that awful night. Kissing him is like leaning out of the window and having fresh wind blowing over his face, and although Sebastian is still afraid of sex, he has no idea if he wants to give up to his only chance of getting it on once more. It had been such a long time since he had felt excited.

Kurt's tongue slides into his mouth, pressing in gently to taste it and Sebastian is shaking once more, but this time it's because he actually _wants_.

Not having sex for more than one year though also means that he doesn't have much self-control. Therefore, when his hips thrust forward, daring like they hadn't done before, to press his naked cock up against Kurt's ass, Sebastian gets punished before he has time to realize. Kurt's hand slaps his face quickly, on an instinct probably.

His groans of pleasure quickly turn into painful whimpers and he feels tears gathering in his eyes while his cheek tickles at the raw touch and he's even afraid to open his eyes.

"Who told you to move?" Kurt's voice comes out sharp and threatening. If Sebastian wasn't so scared, he would have found it hot.

"I-I-" He tries to justify himself but he gets slapped on the other cheek. And then he finally opens his eyes.

He looks into Kurt's ones as they turn darker and the boy glares at him so strictly that Sebastian can feel blood turning cold in his veins.

"You what?" Kurt threatens once more, but Sebastian is sure he can notice some little hesitation in his eyes. Maybe it's just an illusion. "You're my toy now, I'm your master."

Sebastian swallows, the blood floating to his brain.

He doesn't dare to complain, doesn't dare to speak.

He stays in silence while Kurt's index moves upwards, leaning under his chin and lifting it while he looks straight into his eyes.

"You won't do anything unless I tell you to," he murmurs slyly, smirking as he looks down at Sebastian's mouth.

That's so weird.

Sebastian is _so_ split, divided between feeling sick and needy from the desire growing inside him. He doesn't know what to do. His mouth is fresh and awesome, but he just wants to kiss him. He knows that if they're kissing again, Kurt will probably want more from him.

He's turned on but not ready anyway.

The thought alone of having sex, now that their bodies are pressed together, but Kurt is hovering on him is way too much, it even brings awful flashbacks to his head. His heart is hammering in his chest, ready to explode.

"You're going to touch me when I'll tell you to touch me," Kurt tilts his neck, his mouth moving closer to Sebastian's as he scoots his hand away from his jaw, tugging him closer until he's breathing over his lips. "You'll get to kiss me when I'll tell you to kiss me …"

Sebastian is already closing his eyes in anticipation, needy to catch his mouth as he shouldn't be. Being blocked in this confusion, not knowing what to do … it is killing something inside him and making him feel reborn at the same time.

He wrinkles his lips just a little, trying to get them closer to Kurt's but when the hand on his jaw tightens, he closes his eyes, annoyed at the rough touch. He doesn't want to be touched _like this_, he's scared and he's shaking again already.

"Don't kiss me unless I tell you to." Kurt threatens and Sebastian opens his eyes once more, his irises green and dark from fear. "You're going to do everything I tell you to, you'll let me fuck you the way I want it …"

Sebastian winces in pain, tears gathering in his eyes once more. For a moment, it seems like he notices some pity in Kurt's eyes, or more of a _curiosity_ to understand Sebastian's weird behaviors.

And yet the little dim light disappears quickly and it's replaced from a tempting gaze, a smirk forming on his lips that is way too wicked for Kurt's soft mouth. All those sly faces look out of place on him, and yet it seems so natural. Sebastian wonders what might have turned this boy into this.

"Will you do that?" He whispers, lifting his hand to brush Sebastian's sweated cheek with his knuckles, making him shiver at how soft the touch is. "Are you going to do everything your master wants you to?"

Sebastian swallows, unable to keep from pressing more into the touch.

He must take advantage of it. It's not like Kurt will touch him so softly all the time.

"_Answer me_." Kurt's threatening voice comes to his ear in complete opposition with his gentle touch and Sebastian has to try so hard _not to cry_ in front of him. He doesn't want to be humiliated once more.

"Yes."

"Awesome."

Sebastian swears he barely hears the word because blood is pumping to his head and his ears, a whistle filling them quickly.

"We're going to have so much fun together." Kurt adds and when Sebastian looks at his face once more, he has got an amused smirk on his gorgeous pink lips. He only moves to work on Sebastian's hands again and tie them together once more, as if it is a punishment for it reaction. "Rest for now anyway. I don't like fucking at this time in the afternoon."

_Afternoon_.

Sebastian has no idea what time it is.

He nods weakly, without adding a word as Kurt comes off of his body.

For a moment, he looks down at his briefs on the ground, swallowing and looking up to the guy standing in front of him. He's fixing the crimson shirt that fits his torso perfectly. It's muscled but not as much as Sebastian's (how sad that all the hours Sebastian spent at the gym didn't help him prevent that accident in any way; but later he thought that it was half of a self-protection at least, that's why he intensified his training).

"The less you fight me, the more pleasant it's going to be for both of us," Kurt isn't even looking at him, rolling the sleeves of his shirt and looking at where the material clenches around his arm. He only looks up to him when he speaks again. "Or less unpleasant for you, whatever. Although I doubt that. No one ever complained about having fun with me."

Sebastian sighs lightly, looking down so that his weakness won't show too much.

There's something about this boy, something that makes him appealing to Sebastian's sense, but at the same time, makes people nervous around him. He looks smug, vain, so used at being the center of anyone's attention. How the hell does one become like that? Not even when he was the asshole of Dalton Academy, Sebastian managed to be so hateful. Maybe.

"Now I'll leave you to the _many thoughts_ you seem to be considering." Kurt utters as he sighs. "I was just testing you, but next time I get into this room, make sure you've found your tongue back inside your mouth, would you?" He lifts an eyebrow and inhales deeply. "I'd like to taste it inside my mouth too, if you don't mind." He says ironically before he moves away from him and walks to the door.

Sebastian wants to tell him that he might mind, wants to tell him that he's not going to be his toy.

He wants to ask if needs to stay naked because he can't put on his briefs with his hands tied like this.

But all that he does is staying there, in silence on the mattress, completely naked, his hands attached. He lets himself fall backward until he's completely laid and he closes his eyes, hoping this is just a nightmare and that he's going to wake up in the warm comfortable bed of his place.

/

He was never the kind of guy that understands feeling.

They taught Kurt Hummel that he is just some sort of android willing to do anything he can to protect the honor of his family or offering a productive service to it. So he graduated high school with the best grades. College was going even better than his family had expected. His prizes were many and different, from money to boy-toys – like the one Kurt has just tested. Kurt wouldn't even say he's spoiled. This is just the normality to him.

He is a common mob kid, the darling of the Hudmels (silly mix of the surnames _Hummel _and_ Hudson_), which is probably because Finn is too dumb to take over business. That's why Finn is just the guy whose cheeks their aunts squeeze, while Kurt is the scary son of a boss. There's quite a huge difference between them.

"Did you work him up?" His stepbrother's voice interrupts the stream of Kurt's thoughts right when Kurt is closing the door behind his back.

Kurt turns an ice gaze to him.

It's almost automatic. Since Finn had pushed him back in high school, hurting his little teenage crushing heart even though Kurt got their parents to get married just for the sick of it, he doesn't have any kind of sympathy for him.

"It's not of your business." He drawls out, wincing and ignoring him to start walking away.

"No, it's not." Finn confirms and he chuckles clumsily while he follows Kurt around. "It's just that you were quieter than usual. I didn't hear anyone scream which is weird because-"

"Not. Of your. Business." Kurt repeats, rolling his eyes.

"Jeez, calm down, of course not." Finn walks beside him, his voice becoming more subtle when he adds, "It's just that I wouldn't want my little brother to turn into a jellyfish who doesn't even know how to treat a-"

"Fuck you." Kurt spits out before he can end the sentence and he turns around the corner quickly.

He walks faster so that Finn can't reach for him – as lazy as Finn is, he won't try too hard to cut the distance – and he gets to his room.

He closes the door behind his back and leans his body against it, his eyes going shut.

He's not recovered yet.

The emotions he has felt in that room have been weird and they're still washing over him. Kurt isn't even sure he has experimented this kind of emotions with other people before. He has no idea who this Sebastian is, but the way Kurt hesitated is something new, something he should push away as best as he can until it vanishes.

/

It's been six _fucking hours_ and nothing has changed.

Kurt spent his family dinner in complete silence, ignoring Finn's jokes and pretending he is listening to his dad's recommendations on this weekend and the important trade on the list, while his head is only filled with two green eyes staring at him with different shades of pain in them. He isn't used to have such a sad puppy. It had never happened before.

He ended up saying his good night to his family and heading to bed to get some sleep, because his dad won't tolerate any different plan anyway.

When he is back to his room every hope of defeating that sense of anxiety gets crushed. He undoes his shirt, standing beside his bed and he's left half-naked, his golden necklace sliding on his neck. He pulls off his pants and bends them on the chair carefully – he loves his clothes, he spends so much money on his wardrobe every year – to wear more comfortable gray sweatpants.

It doesn't matter how much he likes showing off out of his room, when he's there at night and they have no guests, Kurt just wants to be comfortable. He slides under the covers with the necklace still on (he only pulls it off when he has shower or a bath). He had thought that maybe for once he was to get rid of his tension by jerking off or something.

And yet there's something in his stomach that keeps on clenching painfully and annoyingly, as if Kurt can't bring himself to not regret having left a scared boy alone and naked in that bed, and ordering the guards to keep an eye on door and windows.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

He winces with his eyes closed, trying to push the feeling away. He just has to wait until he drifts, that's it.

/

He has no idea how long it's been, but he can't say he's actually fallen asleep. He's been hanging on the edge for most of the time but everytime he is about to float definitively, those green eyes won't let him.

When he realizes he won't get any peace until he fixes it, he pulls away the covers and stands up from his bed.


	2. Some Kind Of Sweetness

**A/N**: A reminder that "If you don't feel comfortable with the warnings, please don't read, especially when it comes to dub-con - considering that sometimes the line between dub-con and non-con can be very personal to the reader". Another reminder that Kurt might be super awful at first. As I think I've already stated, I'm writing this fic for a friend of mine, and I myself don't like most of the things it deals with, but whatever, a friend's a friend, so I'm trying hard. If it makes you uncomfortable, please, don't go ahead. It wouldn't make any sense for you to do so and I know you're smart enough to believe me.

A special thank to _jobelle516_ who is a very strict and serious beta-reader and is helping me out making my fics better.

* * *

_The liquor running through his throat, bitter and heavy, makes Kurt giggle in his glass. He can already feel his cheeks on fire and his eyelids trying to go shut. He's spent the night picking up his perfect prey and he found it._

_A sailor from the United Kingdom: Adam Crawford._

_He is there, busy chatting with one Blaine Anderson – already fucked, so not really interesting anymore – and Kurt knows the man is going to end up in his pants by the end of the night. Well, he is Burt Hummel's son, it's not like he needs to use his charm to get what he wants. All it takes is to ask._

"_Sometimes I wonder what goes through your mind." Rachel Barbra Berry's annoying voice makes him roll his eyes as she sits beside him. "Kurt … there's more than drugs, sex, cigarettes and-"_

"_Oh, shut up." Kurt complains, putting his glass back on the table and his arm on the back of the couch of the pub in his basement, over Rachel's shoulders. "How many times do I need to tell you that it's useless to rebuke me?"_

"_Don't you even have a little mercy for all the people you take advantage of?" Rachel asks, blinking with her long eyelashes. "Sometimes I feel like you don't have a heart."_

_Kurt smirks a little. He has no intention of justifying himself or giving explanations. He knows that the life he lives is just a consequence of the society he was grown up into, full of blood and traffics, he's not going to list the details of his life experience._

"_No. I don't know what mercy feels like." He snaps, turning colder and more indifferent a moment later, looking away from Rachel to gaze at his daily victim. "Maybe you forgot about that, but it was for mercy that my mom died. That is for weak, and I'm not weak, so I don't know the feeling."_

_Rachel sighs beside him, but he doesn't even turn to look at her._

_He's just focusing on his prey, like every single night._

_/_

Sebastian feels a whoosh along his skin, a thin material brushing on his naked body pleasantly, covering it partly from the cold of the room. He has no idea how long he's been sleeping, but it must have been a while. He's shaking, he can feel it and he has no idea what this contact is. Maybe there's no need to check on it, maybe he should just go back to sleep. It's probably just one of those dreams in which he feels himself getting touched, one of those nightmare that happen to turn into the memory of that night.

And yet, the hands and fingers that are touching him now are sweet and delicate. It's so different from the hands that touched him that night.

When he realizes that someone is covering his naked body, he turns around, blinking to focus.

It takes him a few moments to focus with the darkness surrounding him (the only light coming from the lamp on the bedside table) but then he sees _Kurt_ who is working off the pants Sebastian is wearing.

The boy that treated him like a toy yesterday is leant on the bed with his knees and has the tip of his tongue poking out as he tries to work at the buttons of Sebastian's pants. He is wearing a white and light-weight undershirt and some sporty slacks. His hair is in a mess and just a little more down than earlier, straight rather than spiky.

Sebastian thinks this is the right moment.

He has no idea when this guy is going to show any weaknesses to him if he doesn't take advantage of it now. And sleep doesn't make him see reason, because a moment later he's moving up and over his body. Only then he realizes that his hands are completely free, his body is pressed on Kurt's, pushing into the mattress.

Surprisingly, the boy underneath him moans.

Sebastian can hear his voice clearly, it's low and surprised, amused and frustrated.

It's so awkward.

Feeling the boy that has dominated him not even 24 hours earlier sounding so submitted to him and underneath him is _satisfying_. It's the first time in a year that Sebastian gets excited so quickly without any prompts.

But it doesn't last too long.

As soon as he looks down, his cheek stings once more as he gets slapped again from the boy underneath him. Sebastian barely manages to look into his eyes again when he's already falling with his back onto the mattress, legs spread around Kurt's hips and his wrists held together against the headboard of the bed.

"I'm so-sorr-" He tries to apologize but when Kurt's ice-eyes look into his own, he finds himself just swallowing, unable to resist him as he leans towards the first drawer of the bedside table.

"What a slut." Kurt whispers directly, his hand sliding into the drawer, looking for something. "I can't even take mercy and put some clothes on you that you're already getting your hands on me with no permission?" He asks, his voice full of disdain – which hurts Sebastian in his pride - until he throws handcuffs out of the drawer.

Sebastian immediately feels panic spreading inside his chest as he wonders if there any other sex toys in there. Maybe this is just the room where Kurt keeps his sex slave, so he's going to use that stuff on him too.

_Not again_, he bites his lower lip as he looks into the boy's blue eyes, begging silently, _please, not again_.

"I am your _master_." Kurt works with his left hand while the right one still holds Sebastian's wrists together. He lets one go and with the other hand he ties Sebastian to the headboard quickly. "That's how you're going to call me and you won't do anything unless I tell you to. Are we clear?"

Sebastian feels as if he's living his nightmare all over again, only this time, his demon is handsome and hot, nothing like the three bear who had ravished him in that lame gay bar. Actually, his heart beats a little faster when he thinks that his _master_ entered the room to dress him up. He had shown some interest and care for him. It's not like when he was passed out and naked on the floor of that dirty bathroom.

That's why he nods shyly.

"I can't-" comes out of his mouth when he tries to explain the situation, _to tell Kurt that he can't_.

Kurt is looking at him confusedly and coldly, which makes Sebastian still.

He can't read it but there are many things going through Kurt's head right now.

The moan that had come out of his mouth or the way he's hesitating instead of just taking advantage of Sebastian … and that is all because of a sense of guilt that he isn't ready to face. _Mercy_ is for the weak, he knows too well. So he decides he won't hesitate anymore. This boy can't be too different from the other, he's nothing special. Maybe he just wants Kurt to prompt him so more, so he acts like he doesn't want it.

"Jack off." Kurt murmurs, still sitting on him, as he looks straight into his eyes. Underneath him, Sebastian bites his lower lip with something unknown but begging that Kurt can't read too well. "You better do what I say …"

When Sebastian replies, his voice is wrecked and scared, Kurt can clearly see that.

"I-I can't, master," he whispers, swallowing because _he knows_. It won't work. He has barely had his first erection in a year, how can he jack off? He's not even capable of doing it now.

"Do it." Kurt threatens once more, wrapping his fingers around Sebastian's free hand. The touch is extremely pleasant and sweet for the situation and the person. "If you don't follow my rules," Kurt murmurs, moving Sebastian's hand along his torso until he's reached for the waistband of his briefs, "someone might hurt; that someone could be you, or your daddy …" He bends and whispers the next words directly into Sebastian's ear. "And you really don't want your dad to get hurt, do you?"

Sebastian's chest clenches once more. How can Kurt say such a thing if he wants him to be turned on? How can Sebastian jerk off with the anxiety of knowing that his dad's safety might depend on that? He can't even be _turned on_ with such a thing on his head. He hadn't been hard in a year, a threat wouldn't change anything. Every single kind of violence reminds him of that fucking night and his fingers are stiff and still in Kurt's hand.

Kurt is looking at him confusedly, his eyes wandering over Sebastian's crotch; like he can't believe Sebastian he's not hard yet.

He lets go Sebastian's hand a little, staring as the boy underneath him is trying to stimulate himself somehow.

That is weird for Kurt too. It had never happened before that one of his boy toys wasn't willing to let go. It's even frustrating for his ego to know that he doesn't manage to turn him on. There must be a reason to it.

His eyes wander to where Sebastian is touching himself with his fingers, but he doesn't manage to get a response.

And yet, there's something weird about this whole thing.

Sebastian is desperately trying, he is looking down just like Kurt and he is wincing in stress, as if he's about to cry. That is making something clench inside Kurt. It's not what he wants it, he doesn't want the boy underneath him to be completely out of this situation.

He scoots in slowly and Sebastian startles when he realizes.

Sebastian's fingers tighten around his crotch, his eyes going wide when Kurt nuzzles at his nose. Only then he realizes how close Kurt is: he stares into his blue eyes, biting his lower lip; Kurt has arched his back on him, leant his neck and he is lifting his hand.

For a moment, Sebastian closes his eyes firmly to fight back the tears, sure that he's about to be slapped in the face.

And yet, the frown on his face relaxes when Kurt's hand cups at his jaw. Sebastian opens his eyes and once more, he finds himself staring into those blue ones. They don't look angry or negative now, and Sebastian has to admit they are the most wonderful thing he has ever seen. He swallows at the amazing feeling they move inside him. He isn't used to feeling this way about a body pressed against his own, not anymore.

The sudden sensation of pleasure that is spreading through his body intensifies when Kurt moves in and his lips are closer and closer. Sebastian's heart starts racing almost painfully, his eyelids spread and muscles shaking as he realizes what is happening.

It _can't_ be happening. Kurt shouldn't kiss him.

Sebastian isn't sure about how these sexual relationships between master and submitted are supposed to work, but it didn't feel like the kind of bond for _that kind_ of intimacy. Kurt's breath is just as fresh as it was on his skin the first time. And yet, when Kurt's lips press on Sebastian's own, the kiss is everything but what Sebastian imagined.

It's a soft sweet touch, and it feels amazing. Kurt's mouth moves slowly and tenderly, his fingertips holding Sebastian's jaw tightly while Sebastian swallows and feels confused. Kurt catches his lower lip, sucks it inside his mouth without the urge and aggression Sebastian had expected. Kurt's hand under his jaw tightens just a little more, but the way Kurt's suckling on his lip is still delicate and wonderful, it makes Sebastian feel more relaxed although he is shaking.

Sebastian blinks a few times, finally moving his hand off of Kurt's pants until his fingers are resting on the sheets. He holds them tightly without realizing while Kurt's mouth move up just a little to catch on his upper lip instead, pressing kisses on it and then stroking with the tip of his tongue, leaving a shiny stripe of saliva along the pink pattern.

Sebastian keeps his eyes shut, he can't see that Kurt's eyes are closed too.

The taste of Sebastian's mouth is something completely new to him too. For some reason, his skin has a good and unexplored flavor. The touch deepens just a little when Kurt feels the need to have more, to savor more intimately.

He opens his lips just a little while his hand moves to cup behind Sebastian's neck to pull him in closer. His tongue comes out and traces the outline of Sebastian's mouth gently. Sebastian whimpers underneath him and Kurt really didn't see this coming so soon. Sebastian's hips jerk up and their waists press together for the slightest of moments. Sebastian doesn't open his mouth anyway.

His lips are still closed, pressed together. He is shaking and Kurt can feel it against his torso. He looks upset, like he has no idea what to do or how to move, like he's _scared_. Kurt can't help but wonder what the reason why he is so afraid.

His tongue silently asks for access again, although it is gentle rather than insistent. Kurt is pretty sure that having sex with a stranger that orders you to call him master isn't something many people are comfortable with, but it's the first time he can't bring someone to get hard for him. Once the touches and the kisses started, every guy he had gave into temptation.

Sebastian is stuck instead, his body is almost completely_ indifferent_ to what is happening.

And yet, Kurt's desire is quickly starting to warm everything in his belly and holding himself together isn't that easy anymore. In any other case, Kurt would find a more violent way to get what wants but … the way Sebastian is shaking underneath him scares him and for some reason, it also makes him a little anxious while he taps with his tongue all over Sebastian's lips.

What happened to the boy who was educated to have no mercy?

He is almost moving his tongue back inside, when Sebastian finally gives him access.

Kurt groans unexpectedly, while his hands press on the mattress, at the sides of Sebastian's torso. He scoots in just a little, tilting his head to find a better angle while he climbs on Sebastian's lap again. He moves slowly on his crotch, brushing their hips together lightly.

Sebastian's body feels warm and incredibly pleasant. The sweet high temperature of his naked torso is enough to make him groan in the boy's mouth, especially when the kiss deepens and their tongues slide together wetly and hotly.

It's just so weird to be like this with someone, kissing a boy so softly, as if Kurt has some sort of _respect_ towards him. For what he's been taught, it's almost crazy to feel like this towards a boy who is supposed to be a slave of his pleasure.

And yet …

A little sparkle of excitement that runs along his spine makes him groan more loudly in Sebastian's mouth as he feels himself getting hard. For some reason, his throat tights up and a silly smile appearing on his face while he thrusts down on Sebastian.

The feeling of excitement is making him awkwardly happy, like he's not used to feel anymore.

When their bodies collide again, Kurt startles at the way Sebastian pulses against him, his dick feeling hard and huge against Kurt's own.

Kurt is so not used to feeling happy during sex.

It's just fun, but there _shouldn't_ be any emotions involved.

And yet when Sebastian moves his mouth, kissing him back and stroking Kurt's tongue with his own until he's licking up to Kurt's palate, a weird little sensation fills Kurt's chest and then his whole body.

He moves away from Sebastian's mouth and without realizing he smirks a little slyly.

"You know, I think I have a better idea," He whispers over Sebastian's lips, looking between his thin mouth and his eyes.

Sebastian lifts an eyebrow slowly, biting his lower lip in hesitation.

"Don't you want to hear?" He asks, bending over to tug Sebastian's lower lip in his mouth.

"Yea-yeah." Sebastian whispers, not too convincing. "Yes, master." He utters, his voice as shaking as his body.

Sebastian knows what's coming, he knows too well.

But the words of complain die in his throat. It's partly because he's afraid of complaining. Kurt is being kind with him now and Sebastian doesn't want him to become rougher and take him like that. And then, his dad is involved too. The boy sitting on his crotch and looking at him with those beautiful blue eyes that aren't as dirty as his soul – but are momentarily turning darker – can hurt his dad somehow.

Sebastian can read his hunger in those irises.

Kurt whispers quietly, "I'm going to fuck you now." Although his tone is tender, it sounds like a thunder in Sebastian's sky, sudden even though it was predictable.

"I-I …"

"You're going to love it." Kurt sounds convinced. He leans in to kiss him again, one hand still stroking at the hair on the back of Sebastian's neck and the other running along his defined pectorals. "You're going to love _me_."

Sebastian isn't sure he has heard it right, but he knows he can't do anything to fight this anyway. He lets himself drop on the mattress lazily, showing no resistance at all. He opens his mouth to Kurt, letting him in the warm cavity of his mouth again, and he weakly presses his tongue against Kurt's.

Kurt is already groaning again.

His hard dick pressing against Sebastian's thigh, making him sigh in panic and relief at the same time. Kurt is handsome, _so handsome_. Back in the days when Sebastian was smug and dumb, he would have considered him a gay face or something. But now that he knows what it feels like to have sex with someone that actually doesn't attract him at all, well … Kurt would never belong to the category.

He is sexy and delicate, spontaneous but dirty. He's just so _Kurt_.

The only thing Sebastian knows about him – except for his implied mob life – is the taste of his tongue against his own. And yet … it tastes like Kurt which feels unique already. It's funny.

For some reason, the thought of it makes his dick throb, thick and interested when Kurt thrusts against him again, their bodies almost becoming one for how intimately they're pressed together.

Sebastian breathes in deeply, his eyes closed together firmly, when Kurt's lips arch into a smile – _smirk _maybe? – on his skin, on his violated mouth. Kurt's smile sends shivers along his spine although Sebastian hasn't even dared to open his eyes, but the pain and panic overcomes quickly.

Kurt's hand reaches for the waistband of the pants he had pulled on Sebastian, and Sebastian startles as the material gets tugged until his cock is exposed to the air in the room. The desire inside him is undeniable by now, still scared and anxious at the idea of sex when he hasn't had some in so long.

Kurt doesn't touch him, not with his hand.

Instead, he grabs Sebastian's hand and guides his fingers to wrap them around his own erection. Sebastian's face frowns hesitantly while Kurt starts moving their hands together along Sebastian's dick. Sebastian has no idea what to do. It feels so hot and fucking exciting to have his own palm moving like this because of another boy; but he can't shake the hesitation off of him. He bites his lip and feels tears gather in his eyes at the awful sensation.

"Jerk off for me," Kurt whispers, letting his hand go a little so that Sebastian can do what he has ordered.

Kurt is still smirking and Sebastian can see it through his half-shut eyelids while their mouths are almost sliding together again.

Although Kurt's eyes look like he won't accept _no_ as an answer, Sebastian says still. His hand is light and relaxed, not even completely closed in a fist around him. It's as if he's blocked between desire and fear, and Kurt seems so notice.

For a moment he looks down, like he wants to check on what Sebastian is doing.

Sebastian's heart is hammering in his chest, not only because it's so _humiliating_ to be watched while being completely incapable of jerking off even, but also because Kurt is looking at him in a different way. His eyebrows are arched, his lips are pressed together, his face frowning in confusion like he _understands_ that Sebastian doesn't want to be a little rebel, he just _can't_. He _doesn't manage_ to obey this order.

It's as if Kurt suddenly understands something about and when he looks up to meet Sebastian's gaze, Sebastian swallows, feeling under examination. He bites his lower lip and his eyes get wetter at the corners, while he feels humiliated at his incapability of being sexually adequate for his master (which is a brand new way of thinking for him).

"Sebastian?" Kurt whispers quietly, his breath ending up on Sebastian's mouth and Sebastian's back goes stiff, his whole body clenching nervously at the hesitating and attentive tone of Kurt's voice. It's so new and unfamiliar for him, for … them.

He doesn't answer.

He can't answer.

He feels like he's about to break and he knows that if he says anything of it out loud, he'll probably end up crying in front of Kurt.

He swallows again, Kurt's name hanging on his lips because he wants so badly to ask for help to fight the demons inside of him, but then he remembers that he is supposed to call Kurt _master_. So he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out of it.

He tries again but stops when two palms hold is cheeks firmly.

His eyes are newly staring into Kurt's blue ones that are looking at him in anticipation. Sebastian heart hasn't stopped hammering for a moment, but right now he feels like it's about to explode. It's like there's an earthquake in his chest and it's destroying the stable land of his emotions.

Kurt scoots just a little in on Sebastian's crotch.

He leans his neck and Sebastian _knows_ he's about to get kissed again, so he closes his eyes, waiting for the collision.

But the touch feels nothing like he expected it to be.

Kurt's palms are pressed against his cheekbones, like he's holding on to it and Sebastian can feel his breath when their mouths slide together. Kurt breathes in through his nose, groaning just a little on his mouth while he tugs his lower lip gently and tilts his head, his closed mouth brushing Sebastian's.

It's a tender touch, wet but soft and before he realizes, Sebastian is letting go to it. He leans his neck in a little, looking for some more contact until they're kissing clumsily and their mouths seem_ both_ more curious to explore. When Sebastian opens his mouth first, he's quite upset at himself. Kurt looks a little hesitating too because for a few moments he just moves his mouth on Sebastian's like he was doing, kissing his lower lip then the upper one, then under his mouth, not taking advantage of Sebastian's invitation; and then he starts from the top against, like he is silently worshipping Sebastian's face.

This is such a new sensation too.

The way Kurt is kissing him is making him feel appreciated when he had gotten used to the idea of being a sex toy for the rest of his days.

The palms around his face press on his cheeks and Kurt finally seems to wake up from his trance as he slides his tongue into Sebastian's mouth. This time, Sebastian happily obliges. He doesn't dare to move his tongue anyway, not until Kurt reaches for it. When they get in touch, Sebastian finally licks back.

It's been so long since the last time, since he has been free to kiss an attractive guy, since the last time he _felt_ like doing it. Kurt seems to appreciate the answer of Sebastian's body and he moans quietly in his mouth and lets go the same way.

He moves into the kiss, their tongue working together more quickly but not less kindly. That's when Sebastian finally starts to feel some kind of heat warming his lower belly, making it tickly until he groans back inside Kurt's mouth, feeling his right hand move down from his cheek to stroke his chest again.

Sebastian's little whimper apparently wakes Kurt up all of a sudden.

He spreads his eyes and moves back quickly, so Sebastian looks into his eyes again.

Kurt looks confused, like he doesn't understand where this came from. For a moment Sebastian is happy that he isn't the only one who's puzzled, but then he startles when Kurt grabs his pants again and tugs them down unkindly from where they were still awkwardly tangled around Sebastian's legs. Sebastian's out of breath all of a sudden, but his body isn't complaining as much. He's hard and leaking under Kurt already.

"W-What are you doing?" He asks instinctively, stumbling between the words, his eyes getting wet again at how rough Kurt is being while basically ripping his pants off and throwing them at the corner of the bed.

"What I came here for, Sebastian." Kurt whispers lowly, looking straight into Sebastian's eyes with a threatening dim light in his own.

For a moment, Sebastian bites the insides of his mouth not to reply 'you came here to put some clothes on me'. He has no idea if it's true and the fact that Kurt has done so doesn't mean that was his purposed when he got into the room (Sebastian isn't mentally sober enough to realize that Kurt entered the room with clothes with him, so maybe he actually came to dress him up).

"Yo-you-"

"To fuck you." Kurt utters, scooting in against as he pulls Sebastian's briefs off too. "That's the only thing I could ever want from you, you know. Don't ever think we could have something more."

The material of his briefs slides along Sebastian's legs, while something aches too dangerously in his chest. He has no idea what this pain comes from – of course Kurt can't want more from him; and yet having to listen to it while Kurt says it out loud hurts a lot more than the hypothesis of it. Sebastian has no idea what makes him wish those beautiful eyes would look at him in adoration and with fondness; of course it's not the case.

"I-I hadn't considered it-" He whispers, his eyes now filled with tears while anxiety makes his body tremble at the awareness that not even this guy who came into the room to cover his naked body might ever want more than sex from him.

"Fine." Kurt says easily, smiling wickedly. "Because it would be so much worse if you got any expectations." He explains, lifting up just to grab the hems of his thin undershirt. "I had so many boys looking for my attention, Sebastian. No one will ever mean more than a few nights of good fucks to me."

Sebastian needs to know why. He needs to know why it hurts so much right now if he already prepared himself to this awareness one year ago.

Instead of asking for explanations though, to find out what Kurt means, he just looks down, staring at where Kurt is stripping himself. His skin is almost as pale as the white undershirt, but it looks soft and perfect, and Sebastian can see the lines of his muscles. He's not as built up as Sebastian, but he's defined and Sebastian can't help but hate the way he allows his body to heat up at the sly desire of being satisfied.

The thought alone of letting Kurt do this, having such a control on him, makes Sebastian feel sick and he needs to blink a few times to keep the tears from streaming, making the swing between the inside and the outside. Sebastian looks down anyway, staring at the way Kurt lifts up to pull off his pants and throw them away. He stares even more when Kurt gives a few jerks to his dick. It's just getting so hard to breathe right now.

Sebastian has no idea what is going on in his head but part of him_ wants. _He wants Kurt to come closer, wants to touch him and explore him with mouth and hands. But he is afraid. He's so split between these sensations and he has no idea which one to give up to.

Kurt bends on him again, their bodies now pressing together naked and hot, and Sebastian sighs when their dicks slide one against another. When Kurt moves and his erection slides casually between Sebastian's ass cheeks just for a moment, Sebastian can't hold the tear that streams along his face.

Kurt moves over him, almost chest on chest, until his lips reach for Sebastian's shoulder.

Kurt kisses the skin there softly for some reason, like he's tracing something, the outlines of letters maybe. His arms move down until he grabs Sebastian thighs, scratching a little with his nails until he's got them wrapped around his own torso. Sebastian feels hot, _he is_ turned on, his dick is pulsing interested; but at the same time, he feels the tears gradually wetting his cheeks.

Kurt doesn't realize. In fact he just moves down to wrap his mouth around a nipple and he licks the dark skin as he aligns his dick with Sebastian's hole.

No preparation.

When Kurt pushes inside him, Sebastian is arching his back from the pleasure he gets from Kurt's mouth on his nipple, so he involuntarily fucks back onto Kurt, welcoming him inside until Kurt is already buried balls deep. Sebastian spreads his eyes open immediately and he stares at the ceiling, biting his lower lip to swallow down the curse at the pain of having Kurt's thick erection buried inside him so soon.

"You take it so good," Kurt whispers, clearly breathless.

If Sebastian wasn't so busy trying not to sob (how pathetic it would be if he _sobbed?_), he'd go fucking crazy at the words. Before the accident, he loved dirty talking, and Kurt looks like he knows how to do it. He thrusts into Sebastian hard and Sebastian loves the feeling of him moving inside him, but it's just not fair like this. It's not fair that he's just a toy.

Another tear streams along his face.

"When was the last time you had sex?" Kurt asks and Sebastian looks at him. Kurt is gazing between their bodies like he can see from there the spot where they're linked.

Sebastian doesn't reply. He closes his eyes hard, lets another tear stream and tries to fight the sobs again.

When Kurt moves his legs, Sebastian opens his eyes again, looking at the way Kurt has moved up, kneeling on the mattress, but still buried inside him. His head is just a little tilted as he watches himself disappear inside Sebastian. He moves out and thrusts in again. His fingers are wrapped around Sebastian's thigh, he keeps it hanging while he's holding the other one more lazily.

"You're tight, so fucking tight, you should see the way you try to keep me in," He whispers, his blue eyes still focused on their bodies and Sebastian's anxiety fills his chest quickly. "I knew you'd like it, you were just playing hard to get," Kurt murmurs and then he finally lets go of Sebastian's left thigh.

He lets himself fall on Sebastian, still holding his right thigh and thrusting faster and rougher into him, groaning lowly and amazingly for Sebastian's ears, even while he's crying silently. Kurt's chest presses against his own while his thrusts become animalistic and his mouth plays with the skin of Sebastian's torso.

Sebastian feels ashamed when the orgasm starts building up inside him already, making his cock pulse as he presses down to fuck himself on Kurt before he can control it.

It takes Sebastian barely a minute to come all over his own torso, his heart beating fast at the pleasure he hadn't felt in so long, too long for having any kind of control over his body. It's like he isn't used to handle it anymore, like it's _too much_. But it's so beautiful and amazing to let go, just so intense, like he remembered it.

When it happens, Kurt groans loudly, almost screams – his voice scratched and charming – and he thrusts faster, pounding into Sebastian and slapping his balls against Sebastian's ass while he fucks him, the tinkling of the golden chain hanging from his neck resounding between them until Kurt falls down a little, holding himself by the hands on the mattress and the strength in his arms.

And then Sebastian gives in.

His chest deflates and he can't keep himself from sobbing anymore, but it's too loud for Kurt not to hear it.

For a few moments they both stay in embarrassing silence and Sebastian is sure Kurt is holding his breath while he is still inside him. Eventually, he moves back a bit, his hands resting on Sebastian's chest as he looks at him. The gaze though is nothing like Sebastian thought it would. Kurt looks like someone who realizes his hypothesis turns out to be correct and yet it's somehow different.

Kurt's blue eyes are locked to his – Sebastian knows they look red from crying – but he seems confused, lost, maybe even a little _scared_ at what's before his eyes while he breathes in and out once more. There's something awkwardly sweet and caring in his eyes and Sebastian knows he better enjoy it before it's gone.

"Are you crying?" Kurt asks directly, finally moving out of his body.

For a moment, Sebastian doesn't say anything. He just enjoys the weird little tension along his rim when Kurt pulls out the last inch. He lets one last tear stream and with it, one long breath, his body startling at the sensation of emptiness that comes after the orgasm.

He opens his mouth, trying to say something, but Kurt cuts in.

"You're crying." He answers himself, because it doesn't sound like a question and his face is a good proof. "You're crying … what's wrong with you?"

Sebastian swallows down, trying to push away the instinct of crying again. He knows there's something wrong, of course. He thought he was never going to have sex again but it just happened. There's something wrong with him ,that's for sure, because he has no idea what's the emotion he feels the most right now: disgust, humiliation, pleasure … joy?

"I … just …"

"That's creepy." Kurt shakes his head and moves away, looking everywhere not to meet Sebastian's gaze. Sebastian has no idea what the expression is on Kurt's face, but it looks a lot like shock and … delusion, maybe? It's so hard to read into someone's thoughts when Sebastian can barely read into his own. "It's creepy-I—I really don't make people cry when I fuck-"

"It's not your fault …" Sebastian murmurs, feeling so much emptier when he sees Kurt move away from him, looking for his clothes quickly, like he's running away. Fuck, Sebastian doesn't want to feel like this, like he needs Kurt to hug him, _he doesn't_.

"Of course it's not." Kurt says coldly, frowning and grabbing his undershirt to pull it on. "It can't be my fault. I'm your master." He grumbles as if it's obvious as he fixes the material along his torso. Then he looks up to Sebastian's eyes.

Sebastian manages to see in those blue eyes that Kurt is upset, even though he has no idea why. Kurt only wanted sex, so why would he care if Sebastian cries? He's acting strangely now.

"Didn't you notice your skin, you idiot?" Kurt asks, suddenly sounding a little disdainful, like he's noticed Sebastian was reading into him so he needs to build up the walls again so that he won't.

"What … what do you mean?" Sebastian lifts on his elbow – his other arm still tied to the bed. "I don't get it."

"There's no need for you to understand." Kurt winces, quickly sliding into his pants. "It's already unnecessary for you to think."

Sebastian isn't that hurt at the words this time and that's mostly because he has noticed that it's just a way for Kurt to protect his own thoughts, the ones he's trying so hard to hide.

Sebastian feels like calling his name again but he ends up just whispering: "Master …"

Kurt shakes his head, like he wants to tell him that he doesn't feel like talking.

He jumps off of the bed without even looking at Sebastian as he fixes his clothes in front of the bed.

"Sleep, Sebastian." He says instead. "I'm going to need you again tomorrow."

Without giving any explanations – Sebastian already knows what he means – he turns around and walks out of the room.

Sebastian's eyes wander along all of Kurt's body as he runs away and he suddenly feels sad. He looks around but there's nothing in the room. He doesn't know what to do with the time he has to spend here. The key flicks into the lock and he knows he can't get out.

He looks down for a moment and then he realizes what Kurt meant.

He tries to tug his tied arm away from the headboard. He's still naked and he can't get dressed like this. Awesome.

His eyes land on the skin between his chest and his shoulder and then he manages to read the words inked on his torso: P. K. H.

It doesn't take long before he realizes what it means.


End file.
